TJ JACKSON AND HIS JACKSON 9: AN EXCLUSIVE REVEAL

GROWING UP AS A JACKSON

I always knew my life wasn’t typical. My brothers and I would go see Lionel Richie; Earth, Wind and Fire; and Huey Lewis and the News in concert on school nights — and then we’d leave at 1:00 in the morning after hanging out backstage. I would meet legends and not even really realize it. I remember falling asleep on the way home from concerts, in a limo, but having school six hours later.

One time, Uncle Michael stayed at our house during high school finals week. There was no way I was going to study! We went to the movies and toy stores and had the best time. One morning at 4:30 a.m., as I was falling asleep after studying, the big Northridge ’94 earthquake hit. So we drove straight from our house, in Sherman Oaks, Calif., to Neverland — a magical, amazing place of pure happiness. Then we took a private plane from a nearby airport and flew to Vegas, where we stayed at Caesars Palace for a week.

Every morning Michael would run and slide into our hotel room and say, “They had another one” [talking about the aftershocks]. “Aren’t you happy we left?” Meanwhile it was chaos over in Los Angeles, but we were [safe] in Vegas because of Uncle Michael.

HONORING THE FAMILY LEGACY

My dad always said, “Make sure a girl likes you for you — and not for your name or money. You have to be weary at first sometimes, having this last name.” One reason I fell so deep in love with Frances is, that to this day, she still has not asked for one thing from my family. She is the first girlfriend that has never asked for anything — an autographed picture or concert ticket for a friend or family.

As a teenager, my mom would say, “Be careful at this party.” Because if there were drugs there, it would become a headline, like “Michael Jackson’s nephew (or Tito’s son) throws a drug party.” Things get twisted. I always have this stuff in the back of my mind as I’m teaching the nine kids. I don’t want them to be hardened, but I want them to be smart.

My mom, my role model 

My mother has played the biggest role in [shaping] my thoughts on parenting. When I was a kid, there would be a positive message from a fortune cookie in my lunch bag every day. I remember her reading parenting books, trying to be an even better mother than she already was. Her level of commitment and love is what I try to implement with my own kids and cousins daily.

I was 16 when my mother passed away, and I felt a complete void. Also, I was accepted to the Wharton Business School of the University of Pennsylvania, but I turned down the opportunity. I felt this need to have a child.

Four years later, I met my wife, Frances. We were only together for three months before we decided to have a baby, my firstborn son Royal. Frances was already a mother of two and most didn’t see being a 23-year-old divorced mom as a positive — but I saw that she was a great mother. I believe a [single] woman with kids shouldn’t be looked down upon; instead, motherhood should be perceived positively. People worried that I was moving too quickly, but I knew I made the right decision.

I didn’t tell anyone until Frances was about seven months pregnant with Royal. My brothers and I were at the peak of 3T, and I didn’t want them to [try to change my decision]. The only person I confided in was Michael.

Prince and Paris were young then, and Michael was on cloud nine. [Despite breaking] all these records and achieving so much, I had never seen him as happy as when he told us he was going to be a father — so I felt comfortable talking to him. Michael was so excited for me, telling me to read this book and that book and saying he only wished he had done it sooner.

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MOVING ON WITHOUT MOM AND MICHAEL

The world remembers my uncle as a legendary artist — but I remember him as a legendary uncle. Our television show is an opportunity to humanize him and speak of how great a person he was. Michael was filled with such incredible love, generosity, happiness, and empathy.

We were at the Beverly Hills Hotel one morning. My brothers and I were just waking up — and he had been up reading or doing his music. He looked so sad, so I asked him what was wrong. He had heard that a plane had crashed — and he rattled out the statistics of how many were dead — and he knew the exact amount of kids that died. Also, he was torn up for the entire day because of the innocent lives that were lost. He didn’t understand why these precious lives had to go. That’s how he was. He had the greatest heart. Others’ lives affected him personally.

But many times, people took advantage of Michael’s kindness and saw it as an opportunity. And I know he was too naive to [suspect] it; he was too kindhearted and trustworthy.

There is never a day when I don’t think about both my mother and my uncle. I keep in mind what Michael told me when I lost my mother: to make her proud and present her well. He told me to do good in the world. Michael gave my brothers and me so many great traits and advice for how to live properly and healthily — and I take that to heart, because I want to make Michael and my mom proud.

It gets hard, though, when you realize your own child lost out on an amazing grandparent and uncle.

But grandma [Katherine Jackson] has done so much for me — and she’s a big reason I got through [the losses]. She is the only maternal figure that I have. (To my kids, she’s Grandma, not “Great Grandma.”). My grandmother is the single-most important person in my cousins’ lives. She does parent-teacher conferences, everything. It’s kind of like she’s the founder of a company — but I do the day-to-day management. She makes all the important decisions and I will always respect everything she says. She did so much for my brothers and me when we lost our mother. And she’s now doing the same for my three cousins. She is still wise beyond her years.

My uncle left an incredible legacy, as [did] my mom — so I am starting to think about what I am leaving. I could have another child, but Frances is done, so I don’t push. Now I’m looking forward to being a grandparent.

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[Originally published on Yahoo! Parenting]

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